The Sensory Child & Impulsivity (Reading Excerpt)
Sneak Peek: The Sensory Child & Impulsivity
Excerpt 1: The Mindset Shift – It’s Not Defiance
Perfect for: Addressing the frustration parents feel when their child “won’t listen.” This snippet relieves guilt by explaining the biology.
From Chapter 1: Impulsivity in Early Childhood
The Myth of Willful Defiance
Here is the insider perspective: in early childhood, especially before age four, most impulsive behaviors are not acts of defiance. They are usually examples of Disinhibition, the inability to suppress or stop a spontaneous, unwanted thought, feeling, or action.
Defiance is a choice. Disinhibition is a neurological limitation.
When a toddler hits, they aren’t consciously choosing to disregard your rules; their brain simply failed to initiate Inhibitory Control (the internal “stop sign”). The impulse was too strong, and the stop sign didn’t flash in time.
To understand why a three-year-old struggles to wait five seconds for a cookie, we have to look inside the brain. What you discover is a battle between an ancient, powerful emotional center (the Limbic System) and a brand-new, under-construction CEO (the Prefrontal Cortex).
For a toddler, the CEO’s office is, effectively, closed for major construction. The walls are up, but the power isn’t connected. Meanwhile, the emotional alarm bell is firing loudly. Understanding this distinction is the first, most powerful step in shifting from punishment to support.
Excerpt 2: The “Aha!” Moment – The Sensory Link
Perfect for: Parents who feel like their child is constantly “too much” or explosive for no reason.
From Chapter 3: The Sensory–Impulsivity Link
The Hijack: Sensory Input Bypassing the CEO
Why does a dysregulated sensory system drive impulsive behavior?
Imagine the child hears an unexpected, loud fire truck siren.
- The Dysregulated Response: The ear registers the sound. The brain’s filter fails, turning the volume up to maximum threat level. The signal goes straight to the amygdala, which perceives danger. This primal alarm bypasses the logical brain entirely, instantly triggering the fight, flight, or crisis response. The child impulsively bolts, screams, or hits the nearest person to stop the “attack.”
In this scenario, the resulting behavior is pure impulsivity, but the child never had the chance to think. They were reacting to a perceived life-or-death emergency created by their own faulty sensory wiring.
We must stop viewing this movement or outburst as defiance. It is simply the child’s nervous system trying to autopilot them back toward safety.
Excerpt 3: Identification – Is My Child a “Seeker”?
Perfect for: Engagement. Parents love checklists to identify their child’s specific quirks.
From Chapter 4: Identifying Sensory Profiles
The Thrill-Seeker: Red Flags for Sensory Seeking
This child’s impulsivity is driven by an internal motor that needs to be fed. Their brain is always starved for input, leading to relentless, impulsive movement designed to get the necessary sensory fuel.
Key Red Flags:
- Proprioceptive System: The child exhibits constant, impulsive crashing, jumping off furniture, or running into walls. They may engage in chewing on non-food items (clothing, pencils) and frequently seek deep pressure by squeezing into tight spaces.
- Vestibular System: They never stop moving; they love spinning and are rarely dizzy. They seek intense movement like swinging very high or riding complex playground equipment.
- Tactile System: They impulsively touch everything and everyone, often resulting in rough play that escalates (hitting too hard, tackling).
This running, climbing, and crashing are not random acts of chaos; they are intentional (but subconscious) strategies to get the sensory input their nervous system craves to feel organized.
Excerpt 4: The Strategy – Managing the Meltdown
Perfect for: Providing a “Quick Win” tool that parents can use immediately.
From Chapter 10: Managing High-Intensity Moments
Step-by-Step Response to Impulsive Surges: The 3 Cs
When a crisis hits, hitting, screaming, bolting, logic is useless. You need a predictable, autopilot routine to prevent your own arousal state from escalating. This is the 3 Cs strategy: Contain, Connect, Cool Down.
- C1: Containment (Safety First) The immediate action must be to secure the environment. If the child is attempting to hit, gently but firmly block the action (“Hands are safe”). If the surge was triggered by Sensory Overload, impulsively remove the child to a quiet zone.
- C2: Connection (Minimal and Non-Verbal) Drop your voice volume immediately. Use a slow, low, monotone rhythm. Use “Affective Labeling” to validate the emotion in two or three words: “You are SO angry.” Do not ask, “Why did you do that?” The answer is always: My brain failed.
- C3: Cool Down (Lending Your Calm) Wait. Monitor your own heart rate. Offer a “Proprioceptive Anchor”, a tight hug or a weighted blanket, if they accept it. Deep pressure is the physiological antidote to panic.
By sticking to this script, you stop fueling the fire with your own words and start acting as the external regulator your child needs.
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